Tuesday, July 20, 2004
hai.. i very sad.. i feel very lartageic (how to spell ah?)..
and other stuff too lah.. i very sad...
and why can't i get my butt to stay on the chair?? why is it that after doing one PART of a question that i will stand up and do other stuff?? whyyy..
Lord........
REFLECTIONS
2:38 PM
Thursday, July 08, 2004
hai.. i don't know what to say you know... my jc air rifle life is over just like that... after 45 minutes of shooting.. and it had to end that way......... hai...
shit lah.. why didn't mr lee tell us that we cannot tighten the shoulder straps??!! stupid lee... he's not qualified to be our teacher lah.. he doesn't even care about us at all lor.. how can he not tell us the change in rules and regulation.. it costed us alot you know.. damn it.. arrrgghhh..
i was super shocked when the person came up to me and asked me to loosen my strap.. i was thinking, what?? why cannot tighten the strap? 'cos last year's nationals and even this year's cdans we all just tighten the strap what... what nonsense.. hai.. then after that when i tried to shoot.. i couldn't find the groove in the shoulder area.. felt different.. hai.. stupid stupid stupid!! all my nines were eights.. what shit lah.. arrrgghhh.. stupid..
this is not what i intended on getting for nationals lor.. stupid.. what made me feel the worst was that i did not give my best.. i know that what i scored was NOT my best.. damn it.. i wanted to go to the finals one you know... shit lah.. arrgghhh.. why like that???!!! i trusted God you know.. is there such a thing as trusting Him TOO MUCH? hai... you know i didn't even feel scared or nervous for the competition at all.. i was thinking, maybe that's the problem? don't know lah.. hai!! i don't know!!!
then after the scores came out.. i just suddenly felt so super sad.. then i had to go and unlock the guns.. then elvin was like, "don't worry.. it's God will.. God has a plan for you".. then i wanted to ask him, " what either plan can there possibly be??!!" but then i just started to cry already.. and i think elvin heard the tone in my voice.. then i faster run to the toilet.. hai... i don't know lah... then lijing came into the toilet.. and then she also told me,"God has a plan for you".. but it's like, what else??!! this is it what.. this is the nationals... hai... i don't know lah, God.. what do You want for me? i really don't know.. but i still trust You.. i'll never doubt You..
hai, then audrey's gun screwed up too.. couldn't load the gun at all.. hai.. so she had to use kefei's gun instead.. and the grip was all different and stuff.. during trainings her gun was already alittle screwed.. then she kept asking mrlee to repair, but then he kept saying,"don't need lah don't need" what nonsense!! it's all his fault lah!!! he's damn lazy lor.. shit lah.. arrrghh.. then after the competition when audrey told him what happened, he was like," why you go and waste all your good shots?" what nonsense!! damn it.. hai.. she's super duper sad too.. she keeps asking,"why?".. hai.. i also don't know what to say.. 'cos i'm also asking why..
Lord, we trust You that You'll bless the acjc air rifle and air pistol teams.. that Your hand is upon them and that You'll guide them and take care of them.. we pray that their trust is in You and that they will cast all their cares and worries upon You for You care for them.. =)
REFLECTIONS
11:12 PM
